Old soul song for the new world order...

Went to the doctor today...

Got another kidney infection -- fun that. More antibiotics... bleh. This'll be my second kidney infection.

Also, the tumor/cyst/unknown lump down in my lower right-side abdomen has gotten bigger -- so they pushed my testing forward to next week. I'm anxious to know what thats all about...

Too much drama in this house. Bless my sister's heart, she's let me stay the past couple nights... and I'm staying there again tonight. She's a lifesaver... lifesaver, indeed.

I've got a headache -- maybe more later.

I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split...

So Mission: Get Buffy yesterday was a failure... I ended up going out to lunch with my sister instead. I ended up staying the rest of the day over there and spent the night... it was much needed rest, and not on a couch -- wOOt.

Unfortunately, this morning after I left her house, she called me from work... the doctor called her back with her kitty's test results -- her cat, Smoky, has cancer. :*( Very, very sad. She's had that cat for 10 years... she's her life. She loves that cat more than anything... and now, its unknown how much time Smoke really has left. My heart, thoughts, and best wishes go out to my sister and her kitty.

On another note: The new 'Buffy' mag is out today... must go purchase it later.

I'm starving. There's nothing in this house to eat, and I'm low on money -- I spent some money on cigarettes... which, of course, are far more important than eating. So yeah.

Not really much else to report.

Was in a bit of pain yesterday -- I can't seem to shake it. Fortunately, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow... so maybe we can get a handle on all this. Maybe. Doubtful.

If my heart could beat, it would break my chest...

Mission: Get Buffy

Today will be spent scouring the city looking for a dealer that carries the 'Women of Sunnydale' Buffy cards. I've completed my 'Big Bad' collection, and have almost collected my 'Men of Sunnydale' (6 or 7 cards shy) -- and the dealer I usually get my cards from (Vintage Stock - 91st and Metcalf)... are all out of WOS cards. Strife.

Apparently there's another girl that goes in there and buys these cards -- and here I was thinking I was the last hardcore Buffy fan in KC. She got the Pieceworks card out of Big Bads box... assuming that particular box had one... BUT, I got the Pieceworks (S7 Principal Wood) out of the Men of Sunnydale box. wOOt!

So today, I'll be spending at least $2.78 a gallon on gas... in search of my WOS Buffy cards. Wish me luck.

On a completely different note.......

Been trying out this new laptop I helped my mom buy -- it's a shame, it is. My mom is computer illiterate, and this is definately a sweet piece of machine... so I'm afraid it's going to go to waste. She wants to use it for finances... and you could run the whole of the world's games on this thing, minus the lag time. It's nice.

So those of you who know me (which is probably slim to none, at least on here) -- I'm a Denny's rat. I hang out at Dennys on a regular basis... with friends... sit up all night drinking coffee, talking about random things, having fun. Last night, didn't get to... fell asleep. Bummer. It's like my escape from this house... I really can't stand being here.

Production notes:
So I'm currently working on 3 projects -- the first being my own screenplay of the 9/11 disaster. I really like the way it's coming along. I'm happy with the way it's coming together... which rarely happens, especially during the beginning stages of my film projects. I usually end up scrapping the first half-dozen drafts before I even begin to remotely like what's coming out on paper... so, yay!

The second project, being a more time-consuming project... my own personal project; one that I've been wanting to do for quite some time -- a film at Denny's... about late-night diners and the people that frequent them. Ya know, exploring the world of night owls that not many people really get to experience... conversations we have, the people we meet, the drama, the fun times.... you get the point. This project, I'm not as happy with. For any filmmakers out there, you all know how hard it is to capture a 'moment' under non-controlled circumstances. I'm having a rough time with audio and camera placement... and I'm not quite sure I'm happy with the way I'm going about it. I know what I want out of the project... and what I want to project -- but for some reason, it's just not clicking in my opinion. We'll see...

Lastly, my third project is my life's work -- or at least the beginning of it... I'm starting to work on my horror movie. As the gods are my witness, I will make the greatest horror movie EVER! I love the horror genre and believe that I could make a great film... something that people will look back on 30 years later and say "that one is a classic" -- I'm not even going for the "name" thing. For instance, everyone has heard of "Gone With the Wind" (either the book or film)... although, alot of people have no idea who made it. That's what I'm going for -- I want to make a horror movie that goes down in history (much like "The Exorcist", or a Alfred Hitchcock flick, etc.)... and whether or not people know who I am, doesn't matter to me. I want to make a great film... one that can be appriciated for decades to come.

As for my 3 projects... they're coming along. I may not be happy with the way I'm going about all of them... but they will eventually be done -- and then I'll move on to the second step, getting green-lighted from my studio to film one or all of them. I highly doubt I'll get to make the 9/11 project... plus, there's a certain amount of time that needs to be acknowledged... out of respect for the victims and their families (including my friend Nancy).

Know what really hit me today? George Orwell's book "1984" wasn't as good as I remember it being... I know, blasphemy. Watch, I'll get some person saying I don't know my literature... eh, oh well.

-=-=-=-

I've been on vicodin since April -- I think it's really starting to get to my stomach lining. That sucks. And the people that keep nagging me with "I really think you're addicted to your pain pills, Annie." are really starting to piss me off. How about you live with this unknown pain day in, day out (the eqivalent of taking a drill your uterus, punching it a few dozen times, taking a sledge hammer to it, then dipping it in hydrochloric acid and lighting it on fire) and then tell me about pain and the pills. Asshats.

Well, I'm off for now -- got a full agenda today. Until later...

Who knows?

Alas, I have stumbled upon another blogger. Go me. It's amazing what you find online at 11:30 at night, blindling stumbling through the world wide web...

Life and death, energy and peace...

I find my temper rising back up inside of me as of late... that's never a good thing. As I stagger through my life, day by day, I'm finding the most random of things are annoying me. Part of it is due to the fact that I have random malaria of the [insert organ here], and all the doctors know is that I keep getting infections (lung infection, kidney infection, etc.)... but they can't really pinpoint what is causing my pain and illness -- with the exception of the battle I've been having with my uterus since March. Several hospitalizations and surgeries later, I'm still in the same place I have been. All of this is making me absolutely ragged -- I find myself not having any energy or will to really do anything...

If I stopped today, it was still worth it...

Talk about karma... ya know, I really wish I didn't believe in it. Maybe then it wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass...

I'm tired. And tired of being emo tonight...

Maybe a not-so-depressing post tomorrow.